The Inevitability Of Turning Into a Semi-Canadian

Perhaps I'm biased but I think moving to another country to live indefinitely takes a lot of courage (or ignorance in my case as I had very little knowledge of what it actually entailed).

As this year marks my tenth anniversary of moving to Toronto, I had a very pressing need to reflect upon my life in Toronto (listen to my podcast here).

The initial plan was to move to Toronto for two semesters and then return home... but then one thing led to another and ten years later I am still here. When I decided the glory and fame of the academic life wasn't for me, I had to face the reality of looking for other ways of paying my bills. As a former PhD student, I had very little practical work experience and prospective employers in Toronto were not really thrilled about my job applications. I had received countless no thank you rejection emails.

It was at a small staffing firm owned by a couple of immigrants from Pakistan who eventually offered me a job at their agency. Yet my journey was still ahead of me. In the beginning, I struggled with lot of cultural things - I wasn't used to small talk - I would never start a call with "hi, how are you doing and what did you do on the weekend." But I quickly realized it was expected of me to break the ice by engaging in small talk. I would also speak my mind freely and say to people openly if I didn't like something (I would literally say "I don't like this"). I only realized something was amiss when the locals started calling me tough, brutally honest or very European ... or sometimes didn't call me (back) at all. In retrospect, I think it was their way of saying I was different and maybe didn't fit in but they would have never told me that openly and without reservations. 

I think ten years later, I somewhat managed to navigate through this environment:

- I started saying sorry in situations where I am not at fault

- I now also refrain from name calling and try to give people the benefit of doubt. 

- And I advocate for other immigrants.. as someone who works in human resources and takes part in hiring people, I often hear reasons such as "lacking Canadian experience" as a rationale for not hiring someone, which really annoys me because moving to another country shows resilience, resourcefulness and courage.

So what else have I learnt here so far...

- Canadians are polite and friendly but it's quite difficult to make friends with them. 

- It is nearly impossible to get them complain about something 

- During my ten years here, I have only once heard someone say "aboot"

- Canadians use a very unusual combination of metric and imperial systems... they use imperial units when they bake something or order a glass of wine but when referring to weather, they use metric system. For measuring distance they use both systems to keep it entertaining and for measuring weight and length, they use inches, feet and pounds. Also, when looking into real estate, they tend to talk about square footage. 

- Canadians don't like awkward silence. For "my" people, no problem. I actually once went to a social function with about 10 people sitting at a table, having dinner, and talking very sporadically. As in none of the 10 people actually said anything for a few minutes. For a Canadian, it's a paux fais - people will fill the silence with small talk at any cost. Unfortunately, I have to admit that I am also now guilty of this to a point my mother had asked me several times to stop talking when I felt uneasy about the silence between us and had the need to just keep blabbing. 

- You are only considered bilingual if you speak English and French. If you speak English or French + another language, you don't qualify. 

It only took me about ten years but finally I turned into a Semi-Canadian. Though, I won't pretend that I like poutine or ice-hockey.